Sunday, June 6, 2010

Letting Go

I always dreaded the day when we would have to make medical decisions regarding Owens life.  Knowing how sick Owen was we knew there would come a day when we would have to.  When Owen went into cardiac arrest the doctors would come out with updates every few minutes.  They pretty much just kept telling us how long they were doing CPR on him...  We finally after about 20 minutes decided it would be best and go in and be with our little buddy.  We knew it wasn't good....  As soon as we walked in and saw him in distress we told them to stop and let Owen be at peace.  It wasn't but a minute or less that Owens heart rate and oxygen rate went completely down.  We never had to make a decision.  Ian and I both know that before we made our decision to let Owen go that the Lord had already taken him home to be with Him.  When we were in the waiting room waiting for updates Ian and I both felt this complete peace.  It felt as if the Lord was lifting us our souls. We knew at that moment the Lord had taken Owen to be with Him.  To be completely honest I am so thankful that the Lord took Owen.  The outcome would have been horrible statistically speaking after having CPR for 30 minutes.  I am so thankful that we can remember Owen as being a happy little baby his entire 7 months.  The Lord has been gracious to us.  Even if I try to remember Owen after he had gone home to be with Jesus I can't.  God has completely erased all visions of Owen after his passing from my mind.  We miss Owen like crazy I think we say to each other about 1,000 times a day that we miss him.  As much as our hearts ache they are so full of joy and thankfulness.  Only God can give us this joy and thankfulness that we have.  Thankful to God for being so gracious to us and blessing us with sweet Owen for 7 months of pure bliss with him.  Thankful that one day we will be reunited with him.  Thankful that he doesn't have to suffer.  Thankful to God for sending his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins that we can one day live with HIM.  I have never felt the presence of God in my life more then I do now. 

I would love to do a Q&A for any of those that may have any questions for us.  You can either post them in the comment section or you can e-mail them to us at



  1. This is beautiful, Ashley. What a sweet testimony of God's faithfulness to you. We will keep praying.

  2. Ashley, you and Ian have been so amazing through this ordeal. I am so encouraged by your example. There is no question that God is using you in a powerful way and He will continue to sustain you both.
    Ginger Kett

  3. Ashley, you amaze me! To see how you are being used by God during the most difficult time of your life! I know that you have a peace that passes all understanding but i also know how much you must hurt and how empty your arms must feel. My prayer is that God will continue to give you peace, and that as you continue to mourn you will also be able to celebrate the precious little boy that God gave you even though it was for too short a time. Your example as a mommy is making me a better one!!! I love you! ~~Aunt Amy